1) one tequila two tequila, three tequila, floor

2) atheism is a non-prophet organization

3) if man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

4)the main reason why Santa is so jolly is because he knows where the naughty girls live

5)i went to a bookstore and asked a saleswoman,
"where's the self help section?"
she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose

6)what if there were no hypothetical questions?

7)if a deaf person signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

8)if someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered as a hostage situation?

9)is there another word for synonym?

10)where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

11)what do you do when an endangered animal eats an endangered plant?

12)if a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

13)would a fly without wings be called a walk?

14)why do they lock gas station bathrooms? are they afraid someone will clean it?

15)if a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

16)can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

17)if the police arrest a mime, do they still tell him he has the right to remain silent?

18)what was the best thing before sliced bread?

19)one nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people

20)how is it possible to have civil war?

21)if one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

22)if you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

23)if you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

24)whose cruel idea was is for the word "lisp" to have "s" in it?

25)why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids?"

26)why is it called tourist season of we can't shoot at them?

27)why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

1. Why is the sky blue?
- atmosphere

2. Why did Noah build the Ark?
- paranoia

3. Describe Rapunzel.
- rebond

4. Green + yellow = ?
- mucus

5. What is your favorite quote?
- ironic

6. When did you last eat cake?
- millenia

7. Favorite TV show?
- House

8. Britney Spears?
- histrionic

9. Kevin Federline?
- narcissistic

10. Barack Obama?
- hollywoodish

11. Unforgettable childhood experience?
- rabies

12. What's the worst and best thing about school?
- projects

13. Who's your favorite actor/actress?
- Keanu

14. Favorite movie of that actor/actress
- matrix

15. Are you not a virgin anymore?
- stare

1) How was your Saturday?
> it was the last peaceful day of my life

2) Where is your display picture taken?
> on the 87th star past the next galaxy to your left, but a little farther than planet Invisible.

3) What's your middle name?
> McMeowy

4) Your current relationship status?
> still slightly aloof but my relationship with people is doing quite well, thank you.

5) Last compliment you received?
> "wa jud kay paki noh?"

6) What is your current mood?
> oh it's the same as anyone trying to recover from heart palpitations

7) What's your mom's name?
> Meowie McMeowy. told ya my middle name is mcmeowy.

8) What color shirt are you wearing?
> dead pink

9) Funniest thing that happened yesterday?
> i laughed at myself for being...myself.

12) Ever had a near death experience?
> been to hell and back, nothin spectacular.

13) Something you do a lot?
> pretend to have autism and escape responsibility

14) Angry at anyone?
> i prefer the term infuriated beyond consolation.

15) Do you wanna see somebody right now?
> see...then throw rotten eggs.

16) I want..
> to keep listening to my playlist

17) When was the last time you cried?
> i dunno. time suddenly stopped before a tear fell.

18) Who would you do anything for?
> i need to consult the oracle first.

19) Who is your hero?
> Dr. House would be a great hero, we certainly share almost the same kind of family life. he got the better life though.

20) What is the one thing you notice about the opposite sex first?
> i can see their aura...awooooh...

21) What song describes your life?
> hide and seek by imogen heap, i guess. i'll update you on that.

22) What's your biggest secret?
> im a hopelessly loyal girlfriend, before they become my exes, they already gave up on catching me cheat.

23) What do you want right now?
> keep answering pointless and self-exposing surveys

25) Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
> always...they're actually more informative and dignified than most local shows we have

26) What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
> seafood. ahh..seafood, red tide and typhoons...

27) How Many Languages You Can Speak?
> 2=fluent, 1=slightly fluent, 2=trying real f*ckin hard to be fluent, and 1=terribly aweful but still hoping to get it.

28) Ever given an engagement ring?
> nope but ive been proposed to 5 times. no rings though so no "yes" either.

30) Have you ever kissed in the rain?
> hmmm... i kissed someone during rainy season...?

31) Do you like the rain?
> sure. it washes away reality for a moment.

32) What are you thinking about right now?
> someone's warmth

33) What should you be doing right now?
> getting a job. eeew...so adult-like.

34) What is one of your favorite memories?
> being happy

35) What are you listening to?
> my playlist

36) Who was the last person who told you they loved you?
> argh! shut up!

37) Who was the last person you yelled at?
> i regret not yelling.

38) When you have a crush on someone, do you act differently around them?
> yes. i can be friendly, or apathetic or mean to everyone surrounding him, but don't deal with him at all.

39) What is your natural hair color?
> dark brown, with weird traces of copper(?!). chocolatey!

40) How old will you be in 16 months?
> 16 months older than now.

41) Do you believe in love at first sight?
> crush. love is so much worse.

42) What's the nearest green object to you?
> book

43) What were you doing at 2am?
> splitting in half, eating babies.

44) What are you doing for your next birthday?
> i'll learn to levitate

45) What is your favorite color?
> i'll tell you after i achieve the eyesight of birds

i have disappointed myself yet again.

i need to draw peacefully...

why do i always see my drawings as enemies?

geez.

ok...i don't have my very own computer, so i go to an internet cafe and just tolerate all the annoying, ADHD-afflicted, warfreak boys that play PC games around me...when i wanna submit artworks, i plead to my friends that they may scan the drawings for me, and fortunately enough, they are such nice and beautiful people that they actually do it whenever time permits them. i rant and rave most of my life, but knowing that, in the end, though it may be hard, i still get what i deserve, i feel quite lucky and contented with what i already have.

maybe im going through a phase...a pivotal moment when i am actually starting to empathize and feel concerned for people other than myself.
seeing other people sell their kids to pedophilic foreigners just to earn money so they can fill their stomachs for the day, made me grateful just how shallow my problems are.